Dear Anti-Vaccine Advocates: Fuck You.

Why yes, I am just a little bit mad at antivax loonies today. How could you tell?


This is based on a combination of two things. One is a longtime friend of mine cutting ties due to antivaccine bullshit; the other is a CDC report. Let’s start with the report.

From January 1 to May 23, 2014, 288 measles cases have been reported in the United States to CDC’s National Center for Immunization and Respiratory Diseases (NCIRD). Since measles elimination was documented in the U.S. in 2000, annual reported cases have ranged from a low of 37 in 2004 to a high of 220 in 2011.

  • The majority of the people who got measles are unvaccinated.

  • Measles is still common in many parts of the world including some countries in Europe, Asia, the Pacific, and Africa, travelers with measles continue to bring the disease into the U.S.

  • Measles can spread when it reaches a community in the U.S. where groups of people are unvaccinated.


Yeah. For those wondering, here’s what that looks like in graph form:


To all those responsible for this: fuck you with a rake.


Oh yeah, notice how it’s the highest since the turn of the Millennium despite only counting the first 5 months? It isn’t like measles is endemic, either. This isn’t the disease spreading from host to host indefinitely within the USA the way influenza does – Measles is rare enough that that just doesn’t happen any more (thanks to a concerted scientific effort over decades). No, most of these cases come from outside the USA. People who traveled to places like the Philipines, were not vaccinated, got the disease, and brought it home with them.

I’m just going to let that sink in for a minute. People who were not vaccinated against measles took a vacation to a place which is currently undergoing a major measles epidemic.

Nice going, fuckwits.

So you were stupid enough not to vaccinate yourself against a disease which will likely cripple or kill in around 1 in 1000 cases and tends to hospitalize more than 1 in 10 because of dishonest pseudoscience. You were stupid enough to ignore the massive amount of legitimate scientific evidence that has piled up since the turn of the century. And to top it all off, you were stupid enough to go and visit a place where said potentially deadly infectious disease was not just endemic but also currently epidemic without getting vaccinated. Is there no end to the stupid? If it weren’t for the fact that vaccines are not 100% foolproof, I’d just write you off as potential Darwin Award nominees. I have absolutely no sympathy for those who choose of their own volition not to vaccinate and who, as a result, get the disease, and I think health insurance companies should legally be allowed to tell them, “Fuck you, you made the bed, now lie in it. You could have taken a $50-dollar jab that we were happy to pay for; we are not paying a thousand-dollar hospital bill because you insisted on being a fucking idiot!”

If it was just them that were affected, I’d be perfectly happy to laugh at them until they stopped being stupid. Because let’s face it, when someone ignores multiple warnings from multiple people that a gun’s safety is off, then waves it around until they shoot themselves in the foot, it can be incredibly funny. But of course, it isn’t just them. And that’s what turns this from “Ha ha, you were dumb and hurt yourself as a result, hopefully you’ll learn something from it and stop being such a colossal twat” to “For god’s sake, stop, you’re putting everyone around you in danger“. You know, the person who waves the gun around until they shoot someone else in the foot. As such, I can’t really find the humor in this. I’m sorry, I can’t. Antivaccine activists, you are worse than creationists. They are wrong, and stupid, but at least they’re funny, and at least they’re not hurting non-creationists. And I’m just out of patience with it.

Look. If you’re reading this blog and you’re against vaccines but not already completely crazy… Well, I’d be shocked if you’re still reading at this point (hi there! I’m really not that much of an asshole. It’s just been a very long day…), but let me make something clear. Being ignorant or misinformed is not in and of itself wrong. It’s okay – I’m misinformed on some issues too. But when that ignorance hurts people, then you need to stop and admit that you’re not an expert. You’re not a doctor, and you don’t really understand, and you should seriously consider abdicating knowledge to experts – saying “I’m not a doctor. Let’s see what the doctors/CDC/FDA/AMA/WHO/Virtually every western medical establishement have to say on the subject”. You get answers real fast that way – every single one of those groups is in favor of vaccination. Virtually every immunologist and most doctors are in favor of vaccination. It’s not an issue which is still seriously debated among scientists. There’s a small fringe of exceptions, but the research simply doesn’t agree with them. At all.

And when someone has corrected you in great detail and pointed out beyond any reasonable doubt that the stance of the science is simply not what you think it is… Well, at that point complaining about how papers you clearly haven’t read or examined are tainted by big pharma makes you complicit in this. If you are willing to hand-wave away reams of scientific papers, countless studies by medical professionals… In favor of an incredibly stupid conspiracy theory that is wrong on countless levels (seriously)… Well, I’m sorry, but I don’t respect you. You’re not the guy who’s waving a gun around because he’s an idiot and thinks the safety is on. You’re the guy who’s waving a gun around because he’s an idiot and thinks that the gun fires the magical healing syringe bullets from the game “Loadout” because he read that on (and probably NaturalNews). And that’s just sad. You have no concept of reliable sourcing, you have no understanding of scientific standard of evidence, and your intentional, stubborn, and arrogant ignorance is hurting people. You are destructive and harmful and have no place in a society which is increasingly more reliant of science. Please, go somewhere where Polio is still endemic (I hear Pakistan is nice this time of year), then preach some more about how horrible vaccines are. See how well your message goes over. But don’t come back. We don’t need more imported illnesses from stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid motherfuckers.


(Why yes, I am still mad.)

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